Grief can be defined as "the emotional numbness, disbelief, separation anxiety, despair, sadness, and loneliness that accompany the loss of someone we love" (Santrock, 2008, p. 635). Stanley certainly displayed emotional numbness, disbelief, and denial when he was informed of his wife's death on a morning like any other. He looked shocked and at first refused to let the officers into his home, perhaps thinking that if they sat down and talked to him further it would make the news seem more real; he also did not seem to quite know what he was doing as he tried to digest that piece of information and responded woodenly. Long after the two army personnel left, he was still sitting in his bathrobe in the same chair, staring off into space. He did not even react to the ringing phone, which is not normal, as people would usually rush to pick it up.
Some anger was also seen when Stanley ordered his daughters to stop eating the casserole that was left on their doorstep. Although it was a kind gesture by a caring neighbour, Stanley probably felt angry because it implied sympathy and pity for their loss, which further reinforced the news that his wife was gone, and that was a fact he found difficult to accept. In addition, he became overly angry when his brother brought up the current political situation; this anger is normal as the masking effects of denial begin to wear off. In the time that it took Stanley to reach his mother's house, he had time to process the bad news and was not that deep in denial any more. However, he was still not ready to face reality and the intense pain that would come with it, so the emotion was deflected, redirected, and expressed as anger instead (Axelrod, n.d.), causing him to lash out at his brother when it was suggested that the girls had a right to know about their mother's death.
I feel that Stanley made the impulsive decision to take his daughters to the Enchanted Gardens as he felt it would give him a chance to get to know them better and vice versa before he broke the news to them. In the beginning of the film, we saw that Stanley seemed very much like the distant father who had no idea how to relate to his daughters. At the dining table, what little conversation they had was mainly business-like and without warmth, as he chastised Heidi for falling asleep in class. He had also denied Dawn's request for second helpings at first, and later unceremoniously slapped more food on her plate, which I felt was rather brusque.
Perhaps Stanley felt that the drive to the Enchanted Gardens would allow him to foster a better bond with his daughters, so that they would not shut him out when they learned of their mother's passing. If he had told them on the same day he found out, it is quite possible that the girls would not have turned to him for comfort, given the nature of their relationship at the beginning of the film. Stanley probably also wanted to come to terms with the loss before he told the girls so that he would be in a better position to provide them with the emotional support he knew they would need. By postponing telling his daughters the news, he ensured that his family would not fall apart as they faced the painful reality of losing a wife and a mother. Good family communication can help grievers cope with feelings of loss and separation after the death of a loved one (Santrock, 2008), and I believe that Stanley's impulsive decision led to all three of them finding comfort and support in each other during this difficult period, thus allowing them to accept Grace's death sooner, and helping them move on from it together.
References
Axelrod, J. (n.d.). The 5 stages of loss and grief. Retrieved from http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-
stages-of-loss-and-grief/
Santrock, J. W. (2008). Life Span Development (14th ed). Mc-Graw Hill: NY.
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