Grace is Gone (2007)

The film tells the story of a father (Stanley) who embarks on a road trip with his two daughters (Heidi and Dawn) upon finding out that his wife (Grace) was killed in a battle. The stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) as proposed by Kubler-Ross is depicted in the film, and we see Stanley go through some of them in the course of a few days.

Grief can be defined as "the emotional numbness, disbelief, separation anxiety, despair, sadness, and loneliness that accompany the loss of someone we love" (Santrock, 2008, p. 635). Stanley certainly displayed emotional numbness, disbelief, and denial when he was informed of his wife's death on a morning like any other. He looked shocked and at first refused to let the officers into his home, perhaps thinking that if they sat down and talked to him further it would make the news seem more real; he also did not seem to quite know what he was doing as he tried to digest that piece of information and responded woodenly. Long after the two army personnel left, he was still sitting in his bathrobe in the same chair, staring off into space. He did not even react to the ringing phone, which is not normal, as people would usually rush to pick it up. 

Some anger was also seen when Stanley ordered his daughters to stop eating the casserole that was left on their doorstep. Although it was a kind gesture by a caring neighbour, Stanley probably felt angry because it implied sympathy and pity for their loss, which further reinforced the news that his wife was gone, and that was a fact he found difficult to accept. In addition, he became overly angry when his brother brought up the current political situation; this anger is normal as the masking effects of denial begin to wear off. In the time that it took Stanley to reach his mother's house, he had time to process the bad news and was not that deep in denial any more. However, he was still not ready to face reality and the intense pain that would come with it, so the emotion was deflected, redirected, and expressed as anger instead (Axelrod, n.d.), causing him to lash out at his brother when it was suggested that the girls had a right to know about their mother's death. 

I feel that Stanley made the impulsive decision to take his daughters to the Enchanted Gardens as he felt it would give him a chance to get to know them better and vice versa before he broke the news to them. In the beginning of the film, we saw that Stanley seemed very much like the distant father who had no idea how to relate to his daughters. At the dining table, what little conversation they had was mainly business-like and without warmth, as he chastised Heidi for falling asleep in class. He had also denied Dawn's request for second helpings at first, and later unceremoniously slapped more food on her plate, which I felt was rather brusque. 

Perhaps Stanley felt that the drive to the Enchanted Gardens would allow him to foster a better bond with his daughters, so that they would not shut him out when they learned of their mother's passing. If he had told them on the same day he found out, it is quite possible that the girls would not have turned to him for comfort, given the nature of their relationship at the beginning of the film. Stanley probably also wanted to come to terms with the loss before he told the girls so that he would be in a better position to provide them with the emotional support he knew they would need. By postponing telling his daughters the news, he ensured that his family would not fall apart as they faced the painful reality of losing a wife and a mother. Good family communication can help grievers cope with feelings of loss and separation after the death of a loved one (Santrock, 2008), and I believe that Stanley's impulsive decision led to all three of them finding comfort and support in each other during this difficult period, thus allowing them to accept Grace's death sooner, and helping them move on from it together.

References

Axelrod, J. (n.d.). The 5 stages of loss and grief. Retrieved from http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-

     stages-of-loss-and-grief/

Santrock, J. W. (2008). Life Span Development (14th ed). Mc-Graw Hill: NY.

Sybil (1976)

Shirley Mason (the real 'Sybil') had apparently admitted that her multiple personalities were fake, and that she was lying all along. Regardless of whether this is true, I feel that for the most part, the film managed to accurately portray the mental illness that was experienced by the title character.

As with typical cases of dissociative identity disorder (DID) (as presented in abnormal psychology textbooks), it was the extreme childhood abuse that Sybil suffered at the hands of her mentally-ill mother that caused her mind to dissociate in order to cope with the trauma. Her father neglected to see the truth behind his wife's treatment of Sybil, and even their family doctor turned a blind eye towards the injuries he found on her, leaving Sybil all alone to experience the horror that was her childhood. Dr. Wilbur mentions several times that Sybil's "friends" exist to protect her and help Sybil express what she cannot; the film is accurate in the portrayal of DID as a psychological coping mechanism. 

According to the DSM-5, an individual has to have at least two separate personalities that exist independently of one another and that emerge at different times in order for a diagnosis of DID to be given (Kring, Johnson, Davidson, & Neale, 2013). Sybil certainly met this criterion, as she was depicted having at least 13 different personalities in the film; all of them had different temperaments - for example, Vicky, the confident and sophisticated French girl; Peggy, the traumatised little girl who kept breaking windows; and Vanessa, the talented pianist who also liked to sing and dance. 

At the beginning of the film, we see that there are missing pieces in Sybil's memory. One example was during the field trip, where she ended up standing in the pond without any recollection of how she had gotten there. There were also gaps in her memory when she was at home; she would take a rest and wake up after several hours only to find her apartment in a mess, without remembering what had happened in those few hours. In Dr. Wilbur's office, Sybil suddenly started speaking in a child-like manner, and when she came back to being Sybil, she had difficulty recalling the conversation between Dr. Wilbur and herself. This disruption of identity and discontinuity in sense of self is characteristic of individuals suffering from DID (Kring et al., 2013).

The manner in which Dr. Wilbur tried to treat Sybil's disorder in the film is also accurately depicted. Hypnosis is sometimes used by practitioners who have a psychodynamic orientation as a means of helping DID patients gain access to repressed childhood memories (Kring et al., 2013), which is what Dr. Wilbur did in her later treatments with Sybil. Dr. Wilbur's goal was for Sybil to realise that the threat (her mother) she experienced during her childhood was no longer present and she did not have to live her adult life being afraid of the ghosts of the past (Kring et al., 2013). 

All in all, I think the film did a good job in illustrating the reality of DID - from the symptoms that manifest, to the challenges experienced by the individual as well as those around them, and also the treatment in helping the individual reconcile the various personalities.  

References

Kring, A. M., Johnson, S. L., Davidson, G. C., & Neale, J. M. (2013). Abnormal Psychology (12th ed,). Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons.

The Sixth Sense (1999)

I have never been a huge fan of horror films. Watching them on a small laptop or TV screen is still fine, but I typically avoid watching horror in a cinema/cinema-like setting. This film is technically a psychological thriller - with minimal horror scenes - yet it still managed to evoke some fear in me.

As with many other films, the director for this film used music and different sounds to elicit emotions from the audience - in this case, the primary emotion was fear. Some scenes were accompanied by eerie background music, while in other scenes there was a sudden change in volume - the audience's emotions were very cleverly manipulated through the use of sound. Humans have an innate fear of sudden, loud noises; loud stimuli cause an immediate response (the startle reflex) because we naturally assume the noise is made by something large, and therefore dangerous (Shiota & Kalat, 2011). Our predisposition to fear loud sounds is due to natural selection, where the aversion towards loud, unexpected sounds was retained throughout our evolutionary history because it served our ancestors well back in the primitive days. The film exploits this fear.

Unlike some horror films which over-utilise gore and/or horror-inducing scenes to the point which the audience becomes somewhat desensitised (e.g. the Final Destination series), The Sixth Sense made use of far subtler scare tactics. Instead of shoving lots of horror in our faces in a bid to induce fear, the film used nuances to frighten us on a visceral level. There wasn't much that was scary in the first half of the film but in the second half the tension began to build up, and when we became startled by a sudden noise or a passing shadow, it was because we had been just waiting for the release of that tension. In my opinion, this is a lot scarier than the usual gore that is presented in some films.

In addition, the film made use of our fear of the unknown and the unsettling sense of uncertainty to evoke an overall sense of anxiety in the audience. For example, when Cole got locked in the cupboard at the party, all we could perceive was the closed cupboard door and Cole's screams. The audience had no idea what lay behind that door; it was left up to our imaginations - and more often than not, our imaginations conjure up much scarier scenarios that spook us out of our minds. Another example was when Cole's mother, Lynn, left the kitchen for a few moments only to return to a room full of open cupboard doors. There was no rational explanation for how that happened in such a short time, and then the camera zoomed in on the imprint that Cole's hand left on the table, leaving it up to the audience to interpret the shot.

I feel that the film was also particularly good at eliciting my emotions because the characters (Cole and Malcolm) were relatable; I could empathise with them. I could feel Malcolm's disappointment in himself when he realised that he had failed Vincent, and his need to try to make amends by helping Cole. Lynn's desperation at her son's situation and the frustration she felt when she was indirectly accused of abusing him was also relatively easy to identify with, as I have also sometimes felt helpless and frustrated in certain situations that seemed beyond my control. Furthermore, I feel that I can definitely relate to Cole's fear of being able to see dead people, as I would be extremely likely to be terrified too, should I find myself in his situation. This drew me further into the lives of the characters as I realised that I could very well imagine myself being in their shoes.

Last but not least, I feel that the fact that Cole managed to get over his fear of the ghosts that visited him, and ended up helping them instead is symbolic of our fears in real life. Sometimes we may be so apprehensive of things that are new or strange to us that we let our fear of it cripple us, but if only we allowed ourselves to move past that fear, we would live life feeling more at ease and may even be able to provide assistance to the less fortunate around us.


References
Shiota, M. N. & Kalat, J. W. (2011). Emotion (2nd Ed.). Wadsworth: California.

Whale Rider (2002)

The film depicts the struggles of a Maori chief as he searches for a worthy successor, and the clash between the older generation and the younger generation. Koro, who is the village chief from the older generation of Maori, places utmost importance on tradition while his son, Porourangi, is more modern and does not share Koro's reverence for their customs. This can be seen when Porourangi refuses to claim his birthright as the next village chief and defies his father by leaving their community to live on the other side of the world. Koro does not understand Porourangi's penchant for art, while Porourangi does not seem to understand the depth of Koro's despair at not being able to find a chief from a suitable lineage. However, Porourangi was honouring his Maori culture in his own way through his art exhibitions in Germany, as he was able to share a part of it with people who would most likely never be exposed to it otherwise. The village boys' lack of respect for tradition when they first began their training also illustrates this clash between the two different generations, for instance, Hemi talks about the training he is about to receive rather flippantly when he tells Pai about it.

The film makes a strong point about the inability to accept change, and tendency to cling to customs that have been passed down since the beginnings of the community. Koro absolutely refused to consider Pai as a potential candidate for the position of the new chief despite his love for her and the fact that she is the perfect choice if one to were to judge her based solely on her bloodline, which is what is typically done. The sexism shown by Koro is blatant, but I suppose I cannot blame him as he was raised in a patriarchal community that has strictly adhered to tradition all this while, and that is all he knows. Although Pai expressed obvious interest in becoming the new chief and demonstrated her willingness to learn as well as her skill with the taiaha, Koro consistently doubted her and responded to her determination by downplaying (when she managed to start the boat's engine) or even being outright dismissive (when she beat Hemi at using a taiaha) of her achievements.

I feel that the concept known as the "backfire effect" captures Koro's attitude and behaviour towards Pai most accurately. This concept holds that individuals who receive evidence that goes against their beliefs may not merely ignore the facts that challenge their views; in fact, they may become even more convinced that their pre-existing opinion is right (Nyhan & Reifler, 2006). In the film, we see that the more Pai displays behaviour which hints that she might be worthy of the title of chief, the colder and more distant Koro becomes towards her, to the point where Pai had to go stay with her uncle Rawiri for a while. Koro's determination to quickly find a successor also increases when Pai becomes less afraid of showing her interest in stepping up to the job. Koro is eventually forced to accept the fact that his granddaughter is indeed worthy of leading their people when he sees her on the back of a whale and after he finds out that she had managed to retrieve his whale tooth necklace. The ending scene shows the entire village united due to Pai's initiation ceremony; those who left for greener pastures abroad have returned home to celebrate the dawn of a new leader.

The message that this film imparted to me is that although our culture and the customs that come with it are important and we should hold on to them, some traditions need to be challenged in order for society to move forward and the people to achieve success. There are traditions in place because that was what worked for past societies but as change creeps up on us due to modernisation, we should not let tradition hinder our progress; neither should we completely cut it out of our lives - instead, we should try to find a nice balance between tradition and modernity.


References
Nyhan, B., & Reifler, J. (2006). When corrections fail: The persistence of political misperceptions. Retrieved from https://www.dartmouth.edu/~nyhan/nyhan-reifler.pdf

Forget Paris (1995)

As I was watching the film, I couldn't help but think of how the triangular theory of love applies to Mickey and Ellen's relationship. The feelings both of them experienced when they just met and were starting to get to know each other is typical of new love; it is all-consuming and exciting. I would call their type of love at this stage infatuation, as there was no particular commitment on both their parts because they both knew that Mickey had to leave Paris soon. Some may argue that what they had was romantic love, but I disagree because romantic love requires intimacy, and one of the components that is required for intimacy is having extensive knowledge about the other party (Miller & Perlman, 2014). Mickey and Ellen had just met and barely knew anything about the other; one week certainly is not enough to learn almost everything there is to know about a person, especially since they were so caught up in romanticism then.

They still did not know each other very well when they chose to get married soon after that, but they were still experiencing the high of new love and did not take into account what would happen when reality set in. They committed to each other (passion + commitment = fatuous love) without considering post-marriage arrangements, such as where Ellen would work and if Mickey would continue to work as a professional referee, a job which required him to be away from home most of the time. 

The honeymoon period soon wore off and Ellen grew unhappy because she was only seeing Mickey a few days out of a month and was stuck in a job she did not like. Their relationship became inequitable, as Ellen felt that she was sacrificing too much for the relationship. As a compromise, Mickey decided to take a year off from work to stay home with Ellen. However, when Ellen was promoted, it was her turn to be hardly at home, leaving an unhappy Mickey with his mentally ill father-in-law. Such was the nature of their relationship - when one was happy, the other was miserable; they were unable to find a compromise that worked for the both of them. 

Things were especially difficult for them because they kept having high expectations of the relationship based on the wonderful week they had in Paris. Mickey was fixated on how Ellen was like before they got married, and vice versa, causing the both of them to be unable to focus on and improve the present relationship. This is due to not having realistic views of each other prior to their marriage, as they did not get to know each other really well before making that commitment.

In addition, they got married almost on a whim. Mickey was at a low point in his career, while Ellen had separated from her husband not too long ago and was feeling vulnerable. Both of them were feeling quite lonely when they crossed paths, which most likely contributed to their whirlwind romance. Ellen herself had admitted that she felt lost and did not know who she was when she was alone. In this sense, perhaps they entered into the relationship with some hope of the other party being able to fill the gap in their lives, which is not a good idea because true fulfilment comes from within. Being with someone who makes you feel good can only do so much for your happiness in the long haul; if you are not contented with life and who you are when you are single, you are not likely to be contented either when you are in a relationship. People also should discover who they are as an individual before getting into a relationship, as they need to have a concrete sense of self instead of constantly changing who they appear to be in order to best fit the relationship they are in at that point in time. 

Most romantic films end when the male and female leads finally end up together, but what makes this particular film refreshing is that it shows us what happens after the honeymoon stage is over. I feel that this film paints quite a realistic picture of what relationships in real life are like - yes, it can be passionate and amazing, but it also involves a lot of frustration, communication, and compromise. Romantic love alone is not going to be able to sustain a relationship for many years. Even if a couple had consummate love in the beginning of their relationship, it is very unlikely that it will last decades; it will eventually evolve into a different kind of love (companionate love; Miller & Perlman, 2014), and that is not a bad thing. The relationship may no longer be all about passion, but the stability and familiarity that companionate love offers is just as good, just different.

References

Miller, R., & Perlman, D. (2014). Intimate relationships (7th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill.

Strictly Ballroom (1992)

The title itself suggests that there are rules to be followed when dancing in the Pan-Pacific Championships in this film, i.e. only ballroom dancing is allowed. A central theme of this film is that of social influence, which can be seen in many situations throughout the film. The director was clever in using dance to illustrate the concept of social influence, because dancing is an individual expression of self yet there were so many rules for the film's characters to follow if they wanted to win the Pan-Pacific Grand Prix. This provided the director with ample opportunity to depict the way in which social influence works.

Conformity is a major part of the film. The whole idea of Pan-Pacific Grand Prix competition and what it takes to win it is based on the concept of conformity, particularly its normative influence - all contestants must dance using steps that are approved of the Australian Dance Federation, as failure to do so will result in being disqualified or losing the championships. This can be seen when Scott loses one of the competitions at the beginning of the film due to his improvisation of his dance routine, which took his partner Liz by surprise. Afterwards, Liz quit her role as Scott's partner because he refused to conform to the Federation rules that everyone else was abiding by.

Throughout the film, Scott exasperates his family and friends as he insists on dancing the way he wants to instead of the way he is supposed to, even if that means risking the champion title, because all he wanted to do was dance. Fran also displayed non-conformity when she did not want to adhere to the beginner dancer norms, and approached Scott (a dancer who is considered out of her league) to volunteer to be his partner.

After the competition in the film's opening scene, Scott went around asking the people from his mother's dance studio if they had liked his steps, but all they said was that he didn't win, so it didn't matter. Scott became increasingly frustrated as none of them would give him their opinion, including his friend who simply said "I don't know" when he was asked.

That, I believe, is the problem with conformity. When people are so used to changing their perceptions, opinions, or behaviour so that it is consistent with group norms (Kassin, Fein, & Markus, 2011), it results in individuals who do not have their own opinions; they are like mindless sheep.

One method to reduce conformity is to have someone first break free from the majority. When Scott and Fran were ordered to leave the dance floor during the Pan-Pacific Championships, the entire room fell silent; everyone was watching to see what Scott and Fran would do, and no one dared to speak up or otherwise indicate that they disagreed with Fife's directive. Scott's father, Doug, then broke the pattern of conformity by clapping out a beat to show his dissent. As the normative pressure to conform was now reduced, others started clapping along as well, until the whole stadium was filled with a thunderous rhythm.

Although I initially did not like the film as I felt it was too theatrical, I began to enjoy it as it progressed, especially because there were some scenes that I found genuinely funny. I also liked the message that Fran imparted not only to Scott, but also to the viewers - a life lived in fear is a life half lived, which encourages us to pursue our dreams without fear of what others around us might think or say.


References

Kassin, S., Fein, S., & Markus, H. R. (2011). Social psychology (8th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth, Cengage Learning.

Eat, Drink, Man, Woman (1994)

This film portrays a typical Chinese father who has difficulty in openly conveying his love and affection for his three grown daughters, so he shows them his love using the only method he knows how and is comfortable with - through food. Mr. Chu is an esteemed chef who is used to preparing elaborate meals in professional kitchens, and he always prepares a feast for the family's weekly Sunday dinners to communicate his love towards his daughters. The use of food to convey feelings is common in most Asian families, but in the Chu family it held a lot more significance as the Sunday dinners were the platform for family members to make life-changing announcements.

Mr. Chu also showed his love for his daughters in other subtle ways, for example, waking them up in the morning, doing their laundry for them, sorting out their clothes and placing it in their respective drawers (although he tended to get it wrong), and even scolding Jia-Chien for falling asleep at her desk, saying that it was bad for her posture.

Food is a central theme in this film, and the activities and issues surrounding it is used as an analogy for the dynamics between the characters. Another theme that I picked up on is the basic human need for love and belonging, as stated in Maslow's hierarchy of needs and Glasser's choice theory (Friedman & Schustack, 2014; Sommers-Flanagan & Sommers-Flanagan, 2012). In the beginning of the film, we learn that Mr. Chu is losing his sense of taste and has to rely on his friend, Uncle Wen, to give him feedback on his dishes. His painstakingly-prepared dinners go relatively untouched because his daughters do not find the food appetising, and would prefer to be anywhere but at the dinner table with their father.

The deterioration of Mr. Chu's sense of taste can be seen to symbolise the result of being stuck in a period of his life that he would like to move on from. He is tired of the years he spent in the kitchen and wants to retire from both the professional and home kitchens, hoping that his daughters will quickly leave home so that he can start a new phase of his life with Jin-Rong. Similarly, the state of his relationship with his daughters is most likely the result of years of routine dinners, so much so that Jia-Jen and Jia-Chien feel trapped in the family home and resentful towards their father. Although Mr. Chu obviously cares for his daughters, their actions do not seem to show that the feeling is mutual, and Mr. Chu can sense their resentment. The family might live in the same house, but they all lead very separate lives, leaving Mr. Chu feeling lonely. Therefore, he turns to Jin-Rong and Shan-Shan who are happy to spend time with him and can provide him with the love and sense of belonging that he needs.

The intermittent traffic scenes symbolise the passing of time and change. There was a traffic scene just before the big dinner in which Mr. Chu announced his relationship with Jin-Rong, which was different from the first two traffic scenes shown. In this scene, there was a traffic conductor that wasn't there before, suggesting that change was taking place in Taipei, but more importantly, in the Chu family. Indeed, there was change in the dynamics of the family. The relationship between the Chu family members seemed to be less prickly since Jia-Jen and Jia-Ning left the family home. Previously, the three daughters grudgingly ate the food cooked by Mr. Chu, but now everyone was helping themselves and really tucking into the food (before the announcement was made).

Towards the end of the film, yet another scene of moving traffic was used to indicate that more time had elapsed, and with that, more change. We learn that Jia-Chien has taken up the job in Amsterdam and is home after a few months of being away. When Mr. Chu arrives for dinner he doesn't let himself in despite having the key, which I interpret as him respecting the fact that the house now belongs to Jia-Chien, and whom he now sees as an adult. At the very end of the film, Mr. Chu realised that he had regained his sense of taste when he began criticising Jia-Chien's soup. I feel that this is symbolic of the fact that he is no longer 'stuck' in life, as he now has a new life with his young wife and her daughter, in addition to an improved relationship with his daughters, particularly his second one. The last scene, though simple, was very heart-warming and shows just how much the dynamics between the father and daughter had changed over the course of the film.


References

Friedman, H. S., & Schustack, M. W. (2014). Personality: Classic theories and modern research

     (5th ed.). Essex: Pearson Education Limited.

Sommers-Flanagan, J., & Sommers-Flanagan, R. (2012). Counseling and Psychotherapy
     Theories in Context and Practice: Skills, Strategies, and Techniques (2nd ed.). Hoboken, NJ: 
     John Wiley & Sons.